An endless jumpchain
by Timeandvlove
Summary: Peter, a genre savy chemist and husband from earth, is abducted and is plunged into a powerful world of pokemon, peculiar land of purebloods, potent avengers, and has to puzzle his way through it all and bring glory and strength to his parents and partner.
1. Press play to continue

Jumpchain story! This first one is based off this one from imgur. /a/lp6Pp

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Imagine a swarm of tiny little knives floating around, invisible, seeking out any available surface. They want to cut you, rip you to shreds. You can't see them, but they're always coming. You can fix it. But to do so, you have to tear it all up, and that is expensive. Very expensive. You'd have to go into a lot of debt to fix all of that. Or you can just work around it, patch it.

Asbestos. It was used as a building material because it's damn good at holding things together. We have a textured ceiling which is filled with the stuff. If it gets broken or damaged in any way those little knives will come aseeking. So what do you do? Work around it, hope for the best, or rip it out no matter the cost? And if you do rip it out you could have little fragments all through your house.

I carefully swirl the lab ethanol coke mix. You had to be careful about how you made it so you didn't have any cancer causing benzene contaminants (used to break the water ethanol azeotrope) or any methanol or stuff that was bad, but those things were hardly necessary nowadays. A molecular sieve could purify it nowadays without any need for that toxic stuff. Yay science.

I swirl it a little more. I was pretty sure I got the ratios right. Shouldn't be toxic. Here goes.

I drink it. Delicious. Sharp on my tongue, hit me just right. A good way to forget the day.

The house had been a real money pit. One expense after the other. We were in a lot of debt and our savings had gone up in smoke. We both had good paying jobs, me as a chemical engineer, her as an environmental science scientist. Though who knew how long that would last with Britain leaving the EU. Ugh.

I feel a sudden tenseness near my groin indicating that I needed to pee. I get up from the desk, shut down my laptop, and go.

Sitting on the toilet I look down. There was a banana peel there. It was just sitting there, completely flagrantly yellow. My wife hadn't- ugh, I hated rotting fruit. Made me feel- ugh.

As I nudged it away with my toe, I heard a breathing from above me. I look up.

There, up above me, sitting on the (thankfully not artex) ceiling was a young, small girl with pink hair. She had peeled and was eating another banana.

" 'Ount 'Ine 'eh-" She finishes her bite. "Continue."

I look up at her, wildly confused.

She speaks again. "Not gonna finish?"

I glance around for a weapon. There was the toilet plunger. I should probably talk this kid down before resorting to extreme violence though.

The pink haired child continues speaking and I look up at her again.

"So, my name isn't important. I have a business proposition for you. I have this habit of watching people going on adventures. Unfortunately, with the earth fully mapped, NASA not being that well funded, the last great-" I glanced back to the toilet plunger. It was gone. In its place, and surrounding me, was a great black expanse, with purple zig zagging lightning running across the endless emptiness. I glanced around. The same sight was visible in every direction. Beneath me the toilet floated, still filled, and between my legs I could see more of the black and purple void.

I breath in fast. What on earth was happening?

"… the reason I have approached you is that you wish your life was different. Not normal. I can give you-"

"Who are you? Where did you take me?"

She frowns at me. "I already said, my name isn't important. And you're in my realm. Anyway, shush." She flicks her fingers and I feel a sudden tightness around my mouth. I tried to speak but only muffled sounds came out. I touch my mouth- I didn't have any lips.

"I am going to give you a chance at escape from the mundaneness of life. A break. I'm running out of good material to see- and as omnipotent, all seeing beings, we can see a lot. At the parties I go to I have no good new stories to tell. I want, we want, to see an exciting story. Your world is a failure for that. So, I'm going take you and send you to a different world. Pokemon. You know, the video game, the show, the books, Pikachu. The culture shock you'll experience should make it even more fun for me than following someone in their universe. You'll be staying in their world for ten years. I'll pause time- or more accurately, tweak the timeline this universe is running in, so no time passes while you're away. After the ten years are up I'll offer you a few choices, including going back to your asbestos filled house."

I looked up at her, grabbing the toilet tight, breathing fast.

"No, I can't read your mind, you don't need to worry, bu-uuuut-" She swung in close to me, floating through the air. "I've been watching you for a while" Then she floated back out.

This was messed up. I didn't know what was happening. Magic was real? Or was this all a simulation of some sort? I was in some odd magical world I don't know and I was about to lose the person I loved most in the world, maybe die a horrible death in a fictional world and screw up like the screw up I was.

Chasmosaurinae. It was my codeword. I'd spent a lot of time practicing with meditation and self hypnosis. This was my special word to get back into my relaxed, calm state of mind.

I imagine myself floating in a sea of water. I feel calm, free of worries. I let it all melt away. And as usual, there were three chests to go to, gold and shining under the water. I swim to them one by one and see three questions.

What do I want from me? I opened the first chest. Letters floated within. They said- To be better. To be with her.

What do I want from the world? I opened the second chest. It said- To be fair. To make a world safe from pain. To be ripe for the taking.

What do I want from the pink one? I opened the third chest. It said- every advantage I can get.

I was going to win this, and save the world. I tell myself that at least.

There was a fourth chest, but I leave that closed for now.

I opened my eyes, pulled myself out, and focused on the pink haired girl.

"...filled with feral creatures of world shaping power, criminal gangs with evil purposes, and so I am giving you a budget. You'll need to speak for this part so," she flicks her fingers. I feel a sharp agonizing tearing in my face and double over in pain "You can speak again."

I bite my lip, hard enough to draw blood. It was good to have that back. And, yum, metallic flavor. So, if I want stuff, don't piss off the omnipotent deity. Be polite.

"Sorry for speaking over you." I say, in my most respectful tone.

"Thank. You. I don't know why all you people are so often assholes about it. 'Why are you taking me from my family' 'I have kids to feed, I can't die to please you' 'I don't want to fight feral monsters'. Ugh."

"Cowards. Fearing a true adventure." I say. "They fantasized for an adventure. That's totally asking for it."

She throws her hands up, a smile on her face.

"I know, right? Anyway, first, you get six items and sets for free. Aren't I nice? A bag, bigger on the inside, pokegear, a pokedex, 6 pokeballs, a pair of potions, and a hat. You can keep your currently worn clothing too, and your wallet and cell phone. No cell service of course, and they use foreign currency."

Time for my first try at diplomacy with the girl god. I pat my pockets, look confused, then look up "Hey, I left my wallet and my cell phone in the other room. Could I go get them please?"

She shrugs. "I guess. Why didn't you bring them into here? Isn't it a bit boring doing it without having something to look at?"

I nod. "I know, major lack of foresight. Gotta browse reddit while you pee, otherwise you're wasting time. Could I also say goodbye to my dear wife whom I love most in the world? I also forgot that."

She glares at me and the temperature of the void drops from a warm summer's day to as cold as a water snake coming out to attack. I speaks quickly. "It'll be a fantastic tale. One of lost love, endless angst from me over her, where I cherish those last few moments and seek to make your parties really interesting and exciting because I appreciate you so much."

She shakes her head. "I've seen a lot of romance tales, beautiful but underappreciated women meet sexy billionaire handymen who may also be vampires. Deadly super soldiers with emotional issues who can finally open up for a lady who is good at punching. Not my thing."

How did one speak to and disagree with the omnipotent deity who could probably slay you and your entire family with a flick of her fingers? Not that I was really sure about the scope of her powers or any rules or regulations limiting her, but it was obvious that certain conversation routes could be bad for me.

I did want to say goodbye though. There were other things I wanted to do as well. There were items at home I could take with me that would give me a decisive and unfair advantage. Maybe a trade?

The divine lady seemed to like bananas, and did seem to like watching me on the toilet before. I'm pretty shameless. That could work.

"I'll finish going to the toilet, and hide nothing?"

She continues glaring at me, narrowing her eyes, then lightenes up and smiles "Sure, whatever. The timelines aren't separated yet. Don't tell her about this though. If you die in there we don't want her seeking out lost things, do we?"

I nod, swallowing, and lift my hands up. "So..."


	2. Tutorial

I was back in my home. There were more creepy black purple voids, no pink haired gods floating around, although her banana peel had stayed. I finish my regular daily excretion, wipe up, wash my hands (and properly, if I was the ultimate demonstration of humanity for this deity I had to be at my best. I made sure to use lots of soap, really got in between my fingers. I did my all) get dressed and go out.

Somebody had watched me empty my bladder and rectum. I didn't really mind that. I was the first to volunteer for any demonstration, a natural teacher's pet. I'd happily go in front of the public and humiliate myself for a good cause. That was fine.

I shudder and squeeze my hands together. Magic is real. Or superscience, which is essentially magic anyway. I shake my head. I couldn't wait too long or I might be punished. I go forward.

My wife was in the kitchen cleaning up a pot that had once held a delicious tomato soup she made, her beautiful black hair hanging lose behind her, a stylish black top that fit perfectly a cute low cut red skirt that really fit her curves. I go up to her and hug her hard from behind, relaxing in her warmth and closeness.

"Hey." She says.

"Hey." I say. I hold her tight and nuzzle her neck. For a moment I can forget the situation I was just in.

"I love you, but I can't clean in this position."

"Oh, sorry." I pull back, wait a moment, and speak. I really wanted to know what she thought. I trusted her with everything and didn't want to enter this without her perspective. We were two joined as one, and would be so in insane land.

"Suppose I was magically transported to a fictional universe, like, say, marvel. What would you want me to do in this fictional universe?" Yay technicalities. I wasn't allowed to tell her what was happening, but hypotheticals weren't mentioned which meant they didn't matter I hoped. If not pinkie could just throw more fruit at me.

"What do you mean do?" She says, scrubbing the metal pan as she speaks.

"I could, like… gain psychic abilities. Get cool super items. Bring back lots of wealth."

"I wouldn't want you to have psychic powers. I think there's a reason we can't read each other's minds." She'd moved onto a metal tray now, pouring steaming water over it to get the fat out, once home to her delicious and well made spicy chicken.

"Fiiine." I say, putting a little exaggerated and fake exasperation into my voice. "I can get you Magneto's helmet. That would make you resistant to psychic powers."

"I dunno." She says, thoughtfully. "I couldn't wear a helmet everywhere. It wouldn't look that good on me either."

"Ok, I can get you a holoemitter or something subdermal so it looks normal." I say, some real exasperation in my voice now. She was really picky.

"Ok, I guess that's fine then." Her job finished, she looks at me. "Could you finish up with the dishes?" I look down. The tray still needed some scrubbing plus there were a few forks there. Fork heads up, thankfully, so no heads touching dirty bottoms. This wouldn't matter in the long run. I'd either be back as a superhuman who could buy a new fork for every meal or be dead. But we had a routine.

"Sure."

"Thanks." She walks out, and kisses my cheek as she leaves. I pause and then realize she hadn't given me an answer. I calle out after her.

"So is there anything you'd want me to do?"

She calls back, her voice booming through the house.

"Sleep with wonder woman. You can learn all sorts of sexy tricks from her."

"Why Wonder Woman?" I call back. "She's not even from Marvel."

"Isn't she? She's a super hero though." Oh really, you don't know?

"Yeah, but she's from DC. With Superman and Batman and Constantine and Green Lantern. Different universe."

"Is she? Ok I guess."

"Why her?" I ask.

"Because she's awesome. Jessica Jones from marvel is just some weird scientific experiment. Wonder woman is from space." She said those last words with such intense enthusiasm that I couldn't bare to correct her on this.

"O. K." I said, pronouncing each letter.

"Plus, learn some cool skills. If you're there for a while you can learn something there that can earn us lots of money."

"Yay money." I call back.

"Yay money!" She returns my words to me.

I fix those last memories in my head and rush on. I didn't want to tax the patience of the pink one. I went to my computer desk, picking up a warm top, hiking boots, and some better outdoors weather clothing on the way, and leaned over, covering it from sight with my jacket and grabbed both my hard drive (2TB, packed with useful stuff) my portable phone charger and cables, a usb cable, my tablet and my phone. I stuff them into pockets. The tablet will be the most useful of them all, allowing me to access a great number of modern appliances that would otherwise be forbidden to me.

My job done I then turn and go to pick up my wallet.

As soon as I touch it, I'm back in the purple black void. Instantly a banana hits my forehead.

"Oww, hi there." I say, waving to her.

"Got everything?" She asks.

"Yep, thank you for your kind help."

"So, you have 1000 points as a budget to buy stuff."


End file.
